why am i so scared?

so my last post was rushed late one night and typed out on a kobo ebook reader. But now i have a lovely keyboard, where i can type as quick or as slow as i want.

So yes, i am engaged. On the 2 hours into the start of the year my boyfriend of 4 and a half years asked for my hand in marriage. I gleefully accepted. But it does feel a tad of an anti-climax. No one has really wanted to celebrate, it feels like everyone is saying "oh he's finally done it" rather than "congratulations , you must be over the moon" So it has left me feeling a bit meh.

We have yet to go see our priest, so we have yet to have a date. I'm marrying mr laid back so he doesn't mind as to when , where, what or how...as long as it is done. It can be a little upsetting to try and get him involved and he rather just do anything else.

Now i don't want to sound like i am complaining. I am over the moon, and those rare moments when he does get excited, get involved mean the world. I think i just need a little moan.

So why the title of the post? well i need to look wesome in my dress...and i need to, or shall i say, would like to lose weight and a few dress sizes in order to go out and find my dress. But i am putting off rejoining weight watchers. I don't know why i am scared. The only thing i can think of is scared of failure.

i don't know...has anyone else felt like this? i don't seem to have the same enthusiasm as before.