A weighty read

I love to read fiction books, mainly from the romantic genre, some may even call it Chic Lit. Doesn't bother me, i just get lost in the authors world and make it my own. I love some of my books so much i am constantly re-reading them. Which is what inspired me to write this post.

I picked up Jemima J (by Jane Green) 5 years ago in a charity shop not because of what the synopses said, oh no, I'm far too shallow for that! I really do judge a book by it's cover and i liked what i saw. I took it back home and when i realised it was about a young woman in her 20's who was over weight and transformed her self and made a fresh start in the USA i was sucked in and could not put it down. Each time i read it i can relate.

Still fairly new on this life changing course that is losing weight i decided to re read it. Just pages in i am already liking and associating my self with Jemima.

"...I actively avoid walking past building sites of any description - they see my large, round stomach, the thighs that rub together when i walk. Unfortunately they don't see what i see when i look in the mirror. Selective visualization, i think I'll call it. They don't see my glossy light brown hair...my green eyes...my full lips"

In my case it's not building sites i avoid, it's groups of young people, especially groups of boys. They are not all bad, after all i am an aspiring youth worker, however i have had bad experiences in the past. Teen boys can be cruel and can have no shame and know that they can get away with it as people are now too scared to confront them as the level of street knife and gun crime is on the rise. People do not know who they can and can't confront.

When i look in the mirror i don't see a fat girl. I see a beautiful young woman with sparkly eyes, full lips, thick hair, a smile that knocks people's socks off. If you ignore the fat *shudder* stomach that bulges, you can see an hour glass silhouette.

"They don't notice the clothes either, because, despite weighing far, far more than i should, i don't let myself go. I always make an effort. I mean, look at me now. if i were slim, you would say i look fantastic in my bold striped trousers and long tunic top in a perfectly matching shade of orange. But no, because of the size i am people look at me and thing, 'God, she shouldn't wear such bright colours, she shouldn't draw attention to herself' But why shouldn't I enjoy clothes?"

It's true. Why shouldn't I enjoy clothes? And i do, I adore fashion but never feel like i can really follow the fashion as it hasn't been tailored to the larger young woman. I don't know about you, but personally i do not like my arms. I am guessing there are other women like me who don't and if they had the choice would rather cover them up with a bit of a sleeve. Shops are constantly only selling those strappy tops. That would be perfect if it had just that little bit of a sleeve that covered the top! They also seem to think that because we have limited choice, that any old fabric with a second class pattern will do for a top price.

So back to my original point. I find it so important to read, i always try to read every day, even if it is just a page a day. I find books that you can find inspiring as well as entertaining the best. What i believe started me losing weight was a book called "The Perfect 10" by Louise Kean .

A girl called Sunny had lost life changing amounts of weight and it was just so inspiring. I mean i did feel the book ran out of steam towards the end but that was the love story part but i was more interesting in her own personal weight loss story and about people's judgement and how friend's attitudes change towards you when you no longer are the fat friend.

All in all i only have 2 weight loss related books, 4 if you include 2 autobiographies. I have Sharon Osbourn's books and another by Mikyla Dodd and her book is called 'The Fat Girl from "Hollyoaks"

She has lost over 150 pounds and you can get the gist of her story here.

Do you guys have any weigh loss related fiction or biographies that you love to read, or inspires you? I'd love to hear your literary choices.

Girl in Fatsuit
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End of the Week

So weigh in day is today at 7pm and I'm looking forward to it. I had a good week bar yesterday where i think i went over my points by 0.5. However i had over 20 saved so i think there will be a weight loss. I'm gutted no one has been able to see a real difference in me, however there must be a difference because i tried on a top at Dorothy Perkins yesterday (a shop i had been banished from because they only go to a size 22 and i was a size 24/26) i tried on a beautiful top that was a 22 and it fitted! I was over the moon! I wanted to buy it but on the back in big white letters were the words DorethyPerkins.co.uk. Why would a shop do that! Why? It's not cool!

Anyway yesterday i went out with my best friend and bride to be and spent way too much money. I bought myself a whole bunch of new underwear from Primark that were a 20/22 and they fit like a dream! I also bought hen night goodies for Friday/Saturday.

After the shopping trip we went to Frankie and Benny's for lunch and i did have trouble finding low points food. I took my trusty Eating Out points book and settled for a 12 point BBQ chicken pizza. My friend then ordered a cheesy garlic bread not realising it was also the size of a pizza! i had 2 small slices of this cheesy and garlicky goodness. And wow i have not had something quite as tasty as that in a long time! I could of just had that instead of my pizza! For drinks i had water and no desert. Instead i had to watch my friend have a cinnamon waffle topped with nuts and caramel instead... i was so jealous! She kept saying "it's not so nice you know" when i know she was lying because A) she ate it all...almost licked the plate clean and B) i have had it before. it is to die for!! But i was proud of my good behaviour...well almost bar the cheesy garlic bread bit. But know if i ever am going to eat out or get a take away i want a chicken Kebab with salad as it only has 4 or 5 points!

Now about the Hen do... i think i have decided to just forget about the 2 days... enjoy it like any girl should, drink copious amount of alcohol but be extra good with the days around it. Keep my food intake to a minimum and just drink water. If i put on a pound or 2 then it won't be the end of the world. It would be disappointed but I'm not expecting my friend to have any more hen parties anytime soon!


As i went shopping yesterday there was a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I will soon (hopefully within the next couple of months) be able to go shopping in these shops. Create outfits and look more fabulous than i already am!