Thursday, 24 June 2010

Because I'm Worth It and So Are You!

I was just sitting out in the garden with my mum and my neighbours daughter who just had a sleeve put in. She was meant to have a bypass but problems with a previous gastric band surgery complicated matters.  So you could say conversation went from light banter to deep therapy.

Neighbour, lets call her Shirley, admitted that her therapist had said he had never met a patient so self loathing and she needs regular sessions. She kept telling us she was worthless, a waste of space... and it upset me. I have known Shirley all my life as she was a young teen when i was born. Her children and I played together throughout childhood. So to hear that she thinks she is absolutely worthless and a bad person is a terrible thing.

She's saying her husband is a better person than she is, that we all are. When she is just as good if not better! She runs a household, she cooks, cleans, has quite a high powered job, she's part of a committee of a rugby team, i could go on.

Mum was saying that she thought the main reason she was feeling like that was her husband. Let's call him Bob. So Bob apparently "puts Shirley down" and Shirley believes him. She puts him on a pedestal. In fact, i think the only reason she is still with him, not only for the sake of the children, but she truly believes no one out there will love her or fancy her. She is truly "under the thumb" so to speak and he wears the trousers.

I don't know if i find her feelings shocking because i am the complete opposite or that I've never heard her speak so honestly.  I'm now at the age I'm not the baby she knew, but a young woman who can become a confidant. It saddens me anyone can feel unworthy of what they deserve. Don't live the lives they dream of but one they think they should lead.

Am i one of the minority who think that losing weight will only make me even more prettier? I mean I don't feel on top of the world and beautiful everyday, but i do see myself as a beautiful curvy woman who can be sexy. How do you guys feel? Do you guys love yourself? Are you worth it?

I totally believe every single one of us is worth it. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.


  1. Hi there

    I can't honestly say I view myself as sexy or pretty. I have my moments where I think I'm not half bad but for the most part I suffer with feelings of worthlessness as well.
    As a result I suffer with anxeity. So I can totally understand how and why your friend feels this way. I'm lucky that I have a supportive other half and family. I really feel for her and would suggest she considers cognitive behaviour therapy. I've been considered for it on the Nhs and its the best therapy for these type of feelings.

    Thought I'd share as this post really hit home with me.

    Take care and all the best to your friend.

    Shelley x

  2. She has been put forward for cognitive behaviour therapy, but she started making exvuses as why she couldn't go. But we are supporting her and telling her she is worth it, is beautiful and we love her. That's as much as we can do.

    Looking at your profile i can see a beautiful woman looking back at me. Stay positive my lovely. Positivity is the key! :D

    x x

  3. Even CBT will have to eventually tackle the Core Beliefs a person has about themselves and this takes time. She is very blessed to have you and it is a good thing that for you it highlights your own Core Belief that you are worth it and beautiful I feel the same about myself and though this is not an impermeable belief-because at times it just sucks! It is a basic belief and my journey to lose is health driven-let's face it, obesity is a killer. I hope your friend gets what she needs and take care of yourself too in this relationship. xx

  4. I get perplexed when I hear people talk about themselves so negatively. I don't get it. It doesn't compute. When I was heavy, I still never felt ugly. And now that I'm down in weight, being and feeling healthy makes me all that more confident. :)