why am i so scared?

so my last post was rushed late one night and typed out on a kobo ebook reader. But now i have a lovely keyboard, where i can type as quick or as slow as i want.

So yes, i am engaged. On the 2 hours into the start of the year my boyfriend of 4 and a half years asked for my hand in marriage. I gleefully accepted. But it does feel a tad of an anti-climax. No one has really wanted to celebrate, it feels like everyone is saying "oh he's finally done it" rather than "congratulations , you must be over the moon" So it has left me feeling a bit meh.

We have yet to go see our priest, so we have yet to have a date. I'm marrying mr laid back so he doesn't mind as to when , where, what or how...as long as it is done. It can be a little upsetting to try and get him involved and he rather just do anything else.

Now i don't want to sound like i am complaining. I am over the moon, and those rare moments when he does get excited, get involved mean the world. I think i just need a little moan.

So why the title of the post? well i need to look wesome in my dress...and i need to, or shall i say, would like to lose weight and a few dress sizes in order to go out and find my dress. But i am putting off rejoining weight watchers. I don't know why i am scared. The only thing i can think of is scared of failure.

i don't know...has anyone else felt like this? i don't seem to have the same enthusiasm as before.

new year new beginings

Its fair to say i have not written in nearly six months, it is also fair to say that i have put on weight instead of losing. But something life changing took place on the 1st of january 2012; i got engaged tomy lovely boyfriend of 4 years. I am so happy about this, and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. This news also makes me actively want to lose weight, i want to look great in my dress. So, i need to staart this marathon, as slow and steady wins the racce, so i am told.and the wedding is in 2 years. Its doable!

Day 1

So my last post was more for me than for you, it was a reminder that this is something i am going to do, and give it my best again. It's written down and something i now have to follow through.

I am going to have to reset all my stats, will add to the stats column and add my lowest weight. At the moment i won't be going to a class as my  work schedule is all over the place and was one thing (along with laziness) that stopped the whole process.

Today so far i have eaten 37 out of my 47 points, i have no idea what to have for my last 10. i know i should eat up all my points. I am planning to get on the wii for at least 30 mins (stepping, boxing and hoola hooping).

I am also doing a shopping list so i can plan and make healthy meals, although i feel like i have forgotten all my healthy meals after binging on pizza, chips and take away for the past few months. I am getting fresh vegetables, lean meat, and filling foods. Although, and i am sure you agree with me on this, i just wish i could have a cook that made me my meals and said "here you go, it will fill you up and its super delicious!"

 I have been using these wii weights and i'm hoping they will add to the work out. I use them when i'm doing my stepping, and i do the stepping for about 10 minutes, because you put it on in the background and watch regular tv and the wii remote plays a rhythmic beat so you can keep up with the steps. i also am using them for the boxing. I would recommend them as they aren't super heavy and you do feel like you have done a workout! I've posted a link of the exact ones i am using below.

Today has been ok, i've been trying to change my bad habits. I was some chocolate fingers on the table when i got in and instinctively went to have some, but i realised what i was doing and stopped. That's something to pat myself on the back for. These little things that we say no to, is almost an achievement in itself, because i don't know about you, but for me, it's hard to say no. Not when you are in your own home and no one around to judge you for what you are, maybe not even necessarily realise, eating. These first few days are hard if you have not watched what you ate. I'm sure my stomach has been stretched by what i have eaten, i now need to slowly wait and let it shrink back by eating sensible portions. Feeling hungry is the worst feeling for an over eater like myself. I'm feeling it now, i'm going to go have some strawberries (0pp) and drink some water to quiet down the pangs.

 

3rd time lucky?

Hello again,
It's been, ashamedly too long. I was on the straight and narrow then life got in the way and i made bad food choices and lazyness fell into place. I've steadily put on the weight i lost and them some. I have found once again, my jeans are too tight, i no longer have anything to wear as my clothes look horrible on and harmless comments that have nothing to do with my size...are upsetting me.

So here we go again, take 3! Third time lucky? hopefully. I want to go away sometime this year, on a plane and i don't want to suffer the humiliation of being too big for the seat belt....or even seat! I started last night. I did 30 mins of Wii fitness, I've started to count my points. and i will weigh myself every Thursday night or Friday morning.

I'm thinking about buying the zumba fitness for the Wii but reviews say that it's not that accurate but as long as you are moving, that's all that matters. So i am umming and ahhing over that. I'm going to ask boyfriend to take brutally honest pictures so hopefully i will be able to see a difference when i start losing and can hopefully use that as encouragement.

That's about it. I just wanted to put it out there.

xx

Back on the wagon

hey all, I've started weight watchers again, I've finished my second week and even though I've been a good girl losing weight I've been a bad girl when blogging on here. I've been blogging over on my other blog on the ww website. So I'm gonna post on there and on here... so this is yesterday's post from the ww blog.

Helllllo! Weigh in over and i can again proudly say that i have shed off another 3 lbs this fat suit! I'm so happy :D that's a total of 8.5lbs in 2 weeks which means i got my first silver 7! To celebrate i headed over to a zumba class.

It's so much fun with my friend, i still can't get my head round some of the steps... (there are too many people in front and i can't see) but other steps i can totally do! I'm just well out of practice...i haven't danced to a routine in about..... 14 years. It does get tiring, but if i ever sense myself slowing down, not doing it 100% i push through and try that bit harder! I always feel it in my thighs.

I'm super sleepy, Tuesdays are absolutely manic for me. I have rainbows at 5:15 for an hours, then gotta drive over to my friends to pick her up to go to weight watchers for 6:30 that finishes about 7:30 then we whizz over to zumba for 8 and that finishes about 9:15 to then drive my friend back home and if (like today) i had dropped the bf off my friends house to hand out with her hubby, pick him up to drive us home.... looooong 4 hours!

So not quite an essay this time. But i is sleeeeepy and 90210 is on!

loadsa love
from a 3lb lighter girl in a fat suit! :D Have a good week girlies and gents!

Rollercoaster Ride

Hello all, I've been awfully quiet recently on the blog front, I've just been hard at work trying to meet a deadline with a business plan. I absolutely hate writing it, then i get into to and enjoy it then i get stuck and i go back to hating it... it's a vicious circle! However good news!

I have finally bought my domain name and have done a very basic layout with not very much detail in but it's up! I will get onto content next week or as soon as the business plan is finished... which ever is sooner. But check out what I've already done on www.sodelightful.co.uk any tips or advice as to what would make it better will be highly appreciated.

I have also been around to search for self storage, boy who knew it is such a competitive business! I get offers that can't be written down because competitors don't know about them, i get the hard sell... and it's so expensive! For what it is. I also visited the same company twice at separate locations and got completely different quotes and was being over sold insurance i did not need. I felt like an undercover mystery customer!

I alsocannot tell you have stressful this has been though, i have ended up in tears and a blabbering mess over a stupid profit and loss forecast! The deadline for this is looming and i just had a mini breakdown/panic attacks (well i assume they were) over forecasts! But i am calmer now with the help and support of my family and boyfriend. It's something i would keep private but I think it's something i should share. Starting a business has it's highs and lows, something everyone has heard and i never quite believed it to a certain extent. I hit such a low last night and this afternoon, well lets just say i will have puffy eyes that will last me through the weekend!

Many of you have been supportive towards me when i have posted the odd frantic/depressive/I'm a total mess tweet and i would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words, they really did help. My mum also showed me a poem that i would like to share with you called "The Don't Quit Poem" http://www.thedontquitpoem.com/ It's suitable for all situations!

So i may have talked about my lowest point of this journey but i would like to make note that this is a positive post. Remember we are all amazing for our own special reasons! Yes.... You! :D

One step at a time

It's been months since i have done any C25K training and will probably have to start all over again. So this in mind and knowing i've got to start moving i have started to use all my CardioTrainer apps on my android phone.

i've set my goal of losing 4lbs in 3 weeks, CardioTrainer thinks it's an ambitious goal with an average risk of failure. Ha i will prove it wrong! The plan we have put together is around walking 8 miles 5 times a week (weekends i'm at work and constantly stand and walk, however i don't know how much i do). The walking should roughly help me lose 0.35lb and eating around 490 less calories daily should lead to a weekly weight loss of 1.33lbs.

Yesturday CardioTrainer i walked i walked a total of 2.2 miles, but i'd say it was more around 2.5 maybe a little more as the satalite sometimes wouldn't connect properly. Today i did 1.5 miles around the blocks of my home. So, thats a total of around 4 miles, 2 days in and already half way to my target of miles!

I can't wait to weigh myself. i have to stop myself going, because that could be somewhat distructive. So yeah, one day at a time...one step at a time